Most of us want to be good people. But, we aren’t always good people — because no one is. And when someone threatens our identity as a good person by calling out the moments where we could improve, it often sends us into Defense Mode. As a result of our instinct to defend that “good person identity,” we often make it harder for ourselves to become better people.
Behavioral scientist Dolly Chugh believes that one way to make sure that doesn’t happen is to give up on being a good person… and instead prioritize being a good-ish person.
Good-ish people know that they are works-in-progress. So, when they hear they need to do better in an area, it’s easier for them to do so because they already knew they had room to grow.
But how can you give up on good and aim for good-ish?
In her book, The Person You Mean to Be: How Good People Fight Bias, Dolly will help you prioritize good-ish. She’ll teach you how to have uncomfortable conversations and how to examine your own areas for growth.
By doing the book in Pique, you’ll get to experience the power of less with hands-on activities co-created directly with Dolly Chugh. You’ll get a trial run with each of the tools introduced and see first-hand which would work best in your life. And, after trying them out, there will be a clearer path to keep using them going forward.
What can you expect?
Instead of just reading about being good-ish, in Pique, you’ll examine your own life and areas where you could aim for good-ish.
One way you’ll do that? You’ll learn about your own bounded awareness.
Essentially, we see what we expect to see. Researcher Jeremy Wolfe and his colleagues created an airport security screening process. When participants were told that a dangerous object would appear 50% of the time, they had a 7% error rate. But, when they were told that the dangerous object would appear 1% of the time, they had a 30% error rate. They didn’t expect to see something, so they didn’t see it, even when it was right there.
Dolly and Harvard Business School Professor Max Bazerman call this tendency to not see, seek, or use readily available and relevant information “bounded awareness.” We replicate our own bounded awareness in our circles. A PRRI (Public Religion Research Institute) American Values Survey found that most of us — regardless of race or ethnicity — build echo chambers in our closest relationships, but whites in America have the loudest echo chamber. On top of that, research by psychologist Drew Jacoby-Senghor found that we don’t just create demographic echo chambers, we also tend to create bias echo chambers.
With help from Dolly in Pique, you’ll examine your own echo chambers and where you can look to grow.
Ready to focus on growing into good-ish?
Fighting your own bias and committing to your own growth is work. Thankfully, with The Person You Mean To Be by Dolly Chugh, you’ll have a fantastic educator and resource at your side. She’ll walk you through everything you need to know and help you practice when it might be difficult to otherwise start. It and many more great behavioral science books are available in the Pique app right now.
Head to Pique to get started!