Boost Your Confidence And Achieve Your Goals

GIF of Jake the Dog from Adventuretime spinning in a circle saying "Dude, sucking at something is the first step towards being sort of good at something."
Jake the Dog from Adventuretime offers some sounds advice that just might have boosted his confidence afterwards

What difference does confidence make? Well, it might make a huge difference when it comes to actually achieving your set goals.

Numerous studies have found that you’re far more likely to achieve your goals when you believe you will. Thankfully, you can hack your way to more confidence if you’re not feeling an abundance of it right now. 

While it might seem counter-intuitive, forming advice groups can help you gain confidence. And if “advice groups” sound formal and forced, worry not! We form these groups all the time — we just don’t always call them that. If you’ve ever walked with a co-worker to public transit after work to talk about issues you’re both having or called an old friend about a problem in your personal life only to end up talking through a problem in their life too, you’ve experienced this!

We often feel better on multiple levels after those conversations and leave them with an increased sense of confidence. Science can tell us why.

Katy Milkman worked on a project led by Lauren Eskreis-Winkler along with Angela Duckworth and Dena Gromet where they asked students to type up some advice for their younger peers on studying. Even those few minutes made a difference. The students who had typed up some advice for fellow students performed better in the classes they cared about most compared to the students who didn’t provide advice.

This advice-giving improves confidence because of the “saying-is-believing effect.” Thanks to cognitive dissonance, after you say something to someone else, you’re more likely to believe it yourself. So if you tell someone they should leave a job that makes them unhappy to do something more aligned with their values, you’re more likely to leave a job that makes you unhappy to better align yourself with your own values. 

Advice groups put you in situations to give advice and boost your confidence regularly, and thus make your goals feel more achievable.

Some more casual ways to do this, that don’t involve pre-scheduling a specific “advice group” but would likely include a natural give-and-take of advice or information, are:

  • Calling a good friend once or twice a month
  • Driving a co-worker home and chatting on the way
  • Having one-on-ones with a colleague from another team that you like, either scheduled or just periodically over lunch
  • Creating a bi-weekly creative accountability group where you check in with each other’s individual goals
  • Setting up a call with a former boss that you really liked or mentor-figure

To learn more techniques to make change easier, complete How To Change in Pique!

Katy Milkman Is Your Change Trainer

When it comes to changing our lives and routines, most of us are trying to chop down giant oak trees with plastic spoons. Our routines are so deeply ingrained that we need to use the right tools to make any noticeable progress. But we don’t do that. 

Instead, we try to use the same methods that have failed in the past over and over, ad nauseam. And then, when our bendy spoons inevitably give up their lop-sided fight against the sturdy oak, we get frustrated and quit. We sigh, “I guess I’ll ALWAYS be this way.”

There must be a better way to change. 

You can put down your well-worn spoon because behavioral scientist and change expert Katy Milkman has found that there is a better way to change. 

Her book, How To Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be, will show you how to use the right tools to change your routines and conquer your goals. She recommends several different tools that can be mixed and matched in almost all scenarios according to your preferences.

By doing the book in Pique, you’ll break out of your routines with hands-on activities co-created directly with Katy Milkman that help you experience the concepts that she discusses. You’ll get a trial run with each of the tools introduced and see first-hand which would work best in your life. And, after trying them out, there will be a clearer path to keep using them going forward.

What can you expect?

Instead of just reading about the best way to make a change, in Pique, you’ll get to live it. 

One way you’ll do that? By making a plan to utilize fresh starts with Katy Milkman.

Most people are already familiar with one fresh start in particular — the New Year’s Resolution. But, thankfully, you don’t need to wait until you start a new calendar to enjoy the power of fresh starts. We see our lives in episodes, like our 40s or when we lived in the yellow house or the year 2021. The end of an episode naturally makes us feel more dynamic. Next time you experience a new move, birthday, or Monday, you can use the motivation that comes with a fresh start to give you a boost. 

Specifically, you can use that boost to change how you label yourself.

As Katy says in How To Change, “When we’re labeled “voters” (instead of people who vote), “carrot eaters” (instead of people who eat carrots whenever they can), and “Shakespeare readers” (instead of people who read Shakespeare a lot), it influences how we act, not just how we describe ourselves.” Fresh starts give us the power we need to shake our internal labels and push ourselves to become the people we want to be.

Ready to put down the plastic spoon and find the right change tools for you?

Change is hard work, so you need all the tools you can have at your disposal. Thankfully, How To Change by Katy Milkman is the ultimate resource. It and many more great behavioral science books are available in the Pique app right now. 

So head on over and get started!

Old copy:

What can you expect?

Temptation bundling. Fresh starts. Rubber ducks.

If you’ve ever struggled to do a “good for you” task, temptation bundling is going to be your pal. Through Pique, you’ll create a plan to bundle a dreaded but necessary task with something you love. Hate doing the dishes? Watch the Sopranos while you’re washing. Need motivation for washing the baseboards? Jam out to that new album you’ve been meaning to listen to. There’s a temptation for every bundle!

Most people are already familiar with one fresh start in particular — the New Year’s Resolution! But, thankfully, you don’t need to wait until you start a new calendar to enjoy the power of fresh starts. Next time you experience a new move, a birthday, or a Monday, you can use the motivation of a fresh start to give you a boost.

And you’re probably thinking, “Yeah, yeah… but tell me more about this rubber duck!” For more on that, you’re going to have to check out How to Change in the Pique app! Remember, when you hear the phrase “rubber duck,” think “Gotta check out How to Change in Pique!”

Illustration of Katy Milkman with blue hair
Researcher Katy Milkman